What are DDLG relationships and why are they so taboo?

Example of a DDLG look – Images: Instagram @itscandycloud

As one of the more unusual fetishes, the DDLG dynamic brings more tenderness to a relationship than other power-play fetishes. It has nothing whatsoever to do with incest but involves various types of age regressive play and can include sexual play, but this is not always the case.

DDLG stands for Daddy Dom/Little Girl and is a kink that may or may not have BDSM overtones. This roleplay is between the Dom and the ‘Little’ where the ‘Little’ regresses to child-like behaviour while the Dom takes care of her in the same way a parent would take care of a child.

Let’s look at the different characters in the DDLG dynamic and the different elements that can all be included in the DDLG fetish, how you can incorporate this into your relationship, and what benefits it could bring.

Back To The Safety Of Childhood 

Do you remember the days when you were a kid, and you could play your favourite games, colour in, watch movies you liked and be a kid and thoroughly enjoy your time and freedom?

In essence, this is the appeal of the DDLG fetish as it allows the ‘Little’ to regress to a place where they can feel safe and have fun under the supervision of a caregiver, whether a parent or a parent minder.

For people who have very stressful lives, the DDLG play allows them to be free from that for a few hours and simply go back to a place of safety and freedom, including sexual play.

For the Little, the pressure of responsibility is transferred to the Dom or Caregiver. They can then focus on having fun and doing things that they get pleasure and joy from without worrying about the day-to-day responsibilities like feeding, bathing & grooming.

The Little Role

When reading about DDLG, assume that it has to do with sexual relations between the Daddy & Daughter, but the ‘Little’ refers to the mindset and headspace of the role.

The ‘Little’ as they are known, plays the role of the child, and this is typically an age between 2 years and eight years old. There are roleplays where the Little is older, around early teens, known as Middle rather than Little, but DDLG is placed in this younger age group.

This is a great way to explore pure creativity and play. It can be a highly therapeutic play where the world’s worries vanish for a few hours, and the Little can be in a safe place and be looked at while enjoying activities that make them happy.

Of course, like any child, the Little may get naughty, disobey rules and become ‘bratty.’ There are often consequences to these types of actions which can be punishments ranging from spankings and other physical punishments to not allowing the Little to watch TV or taking away a toy or activity.

Often, the Little will surrender a certain level of control, and this can be anything from total submission to the Dom or partial power exchange. In the BDSM community, the terms of the play are often contained in a contract, where the expectations, activities, punishments, and rewards are laid out and agreed to.

At this point I want to point out that age play is a very controversial topic for obvious reasons. Even many people in DDLG relationships won’t acknowledge any specific age for the Little as it can feel too creepy. Instead they embrace youthful looks and behaviours so age is only implied.

It’s important to remember that this is a role play between adults and has nothing whatsoever to do with actual children.

The Daddy Dom role

Now let’s look at the dominant role, and for this article, we are talking about a Daddy Dom, so a male authority figure and the ‘Little Girl’ is a female, but the roles can have a Mommy Dom and Little Boy/Mommy Dom/Little Girl and Daddy Dom/Little Boy.

The Dom’s role is to take care of the Little, which can mean watching cartoons with her, brushing her hair, washing her, tucking her in for bedtime, and reading stories. 

Of course, when Little gets naughty or disobedient, the Dom will administer suitable punishments, but there are also rewards for good behaviour, so the power dynamic is balanced.

The Dom can also be referred to as the Caregiver or CG, and this fetish is also known as  CG/LG; for the CG, it is an opportunity to take on the role of the caring, loving parent or Caregiver.

While the Dom has control, they also shoulder the responsibility of ensuring that their little is safe physically and emotionally while in their little space.

DDLG – What Benefits It Offers For Relationships 

Of all the fetishes or kinks out there, DDLG truly can bring partners closer together and create a deeper connection. It offers real tenderness between people and gives the Little a beautiful, safe, and creative space to reconnect with their inner child.

Many couples may already be doing this in their relationship and not be aware of it. The interactions between the Daddy Dom and the Little can be genuinely touching, sweet, and innocent. They can bring new levels of respect and gentleness to the relationship.

It takes a lot of trust for the Little to relinquish their control for that time and submit to the will and instruction of their Daddy, while the Daddy takes on a great responsibility to create that space for the Little to be the child they need to be.

The Daddy Dom can often be a third party that participates with the Little in the play and can be rewarded with attention. If done correctly and with genuine caring, this role play can bring people closer together and strengthen trust, respect, and emotional connection within the relationship.

What Is Littlespace?

This is the ‘mood’ or ‘headspace’ the submissive will enter into when they want to immerse themselves in the play, and often the DD or CG will help them to reach this space.

Here, the Little gets to explore and engage in activities that bring them into a more playful, carefree, and youthful state of being, and this is where they can find healing and nurture in their lives in a very safe space.

More importantly, littlespace is also where emotions and ideas can be explored and expressed without fear of criticism, rejection, or judgment, and this too can be very liberating. Still, it also leaves the Little very vulnerable, so the DD has to make Little feel safe and secure in this space.

DDLG Activities And Rules

As the dominant, the Daddy Dom may create rules such as always saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, showing respect to her Daddy, no foul language, going to bed at a particular time, and may also help the Little with brushing teeth, helping her use the ‘potty,’ getting dressed and changing and other related interactions.

The Little can then opt to have stuffed toys, play with puzzles or other children’s games, sing or put on a show for the DD, or watch age-congruent cartoons or movies with their Caregiver.

DDLG also gives the Dom a chance to play with little, adding extra depth to the play while maintaining the DD role.

The Sexual Element 

DDLG may not involve any sexual aspects as more of a romantic play space in many cases. Still, in many cases, it does, and the sexual play can add a lot of excitement and intensity to the relationship and make sex that much more fulfilling and gratifying.

Here, the submissive/dominant role in terms of control may extend to the Dom controlling when and how the little can climax, withholding stimulation, controlling who she can have sexual relations with and when, and masturbation times and locations. Another control is where little can’t touch herself without Daddy’s permission. 

The DD may also use elements where he undresses her and kisses fingers, fucks his little while she is sleeping, in the bath or shower, or has her suck him off and reward her with an orgasm if she does a good job.

The role plays can get quite edgy with the DD “using” or “taking advantage” of his Little as part of play. Whispering in her ear something like ‘don’t tell you’re parents, it’s our secret’ as he touches her for example.

He could also be more of a sex teacher training his little to serve him sexually and please him exactly when and how he wishes.

At the same time, there may be S&M elements of restraint and punishment in the form of flogging, spanking or paddling, or using sex toys such as vibrators, butt plugs, and even machines to bring pleasure to their little.

This is more akin to the BDSM lifestyle, and, as mentioned before, these types of interactions may be governed by contracts signed between two parties. The operative word is consent with any fetish or kink, and DDLG is no different.

Regardless of the play and the scenes, each person consents and agrees to the play, the terms and the level of control surrendered to the dominant, and these boundaries are not negotiable.

Aftercare In DDLG 

In most role play fetishes and kinks, one of the most crucial elements is aftercare, and here is where the little is held, cuddled, and reassured after her play, and this is also where people can bond at a deeper and more intimate level.

This is especially important where little has experienced an intense emotional or physical activity, or negativity through punishment from her Dom. 

It shows her that she is loved and safe and that the punishment was not meted out because of anger but because she disobeyed or was naughty or bratty, which Daddy does not accept.

Aftercare is also where people unwind and deal with any emotions that have come up for them during the scene.

They can also discuss the play in terms of aspects they enjoyed and would like more of, as well as any they didn’t like and would prefer to change or remove.

This time also gives people the time to transition out of the role play mindset and back into their regular lives in a safe and secure environment.

Are Pet Play And DDLG Similar?

There is a similarity between DDLG and pet play as the pet also surrenders control and has to obey its owner, with punishments and rewards the same as DDLG. Kitten play, puppy play, and pony play can also be found in DDLG, and pet names such as Kitten or Pet may often be used.

A daddy may even buy his little a collar for some of their games and incorporate the use of a leash and lead his little around during play sessions. Surrendering control and allowing your master to take care of you is very therapeutic, and this is part of the attraction of these types of fetishes.

DDLG Is An Adult Play 

Because this is an adult play, DDLG should always be with people over 18 and between consenting adults, and the Safe, Sane and Consensual (SSC) phrase should be applied here.

This means that activities will cause no psychological harm. All terms, conditions, boundaries, safe words, and scenes will be agreed upon by both parties involved before any play is enacted.

Safe Words Should Be Used

Where there is a sexual or BDSM element, where punishments will be inflicted, the little should have safe words so that the Dom can assess where she is emotionally in the play, and she can express the same if things are getting uncomfortable.

For beginners, simple safewords are better, such as ‘green’ meaning all is ok, ‘yellow’ for I’m a little uncomfortable, but we can continue, and ‘red’ for stop all play. Because DDLG and other BDSM activities rely heavily on trust, the safe words provide a backup and an exit for the little, and once activated, all play must stop immediately.

How To Introduce DDLG Into Your Relationship 

You may be doing some of this already, and one of the reasons this kink works is that it creates sexual polarity when vanilla sex gets boring. Many men like a submissive woman they can both take care of and ravish, while many women enjoy the alpha male that they can be sexually free with while feeling safe and protected.

You can start slowly by bringing in games or scenes or using outfits for dress-up, discussing the age space (i.e., which age level little wants to be), and then setting the stage using toys, movies, music, scents, and lighting.

You can discuss some of the aspects that little will enjoy doing and the rules and boundaries and the responsibilities of the little and the Dom during the play.

Playing virtually my meeting people online or even paying OnlyFans creators is a good way to try this fetish on. Your Little might want to try playing solo if she wants to see how this could feel for her. She can spend an afternoon regressing into her childhood activities, movies, snacks and games.

Conclusion 

DDLG offers consenting couples a way to add a greater dimension of intimacy, trust, and excitement to their play. Even if there is no sexual play, it will bring partners closers together as they discover the variety of options available.

When it comes to DDLG, imagination knows no bounds. As long as there is proper and authentic communication between the players, DDLG is undoubtedly a way for people to take their relationship and sex life to another more profound level.

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