Valentine’s Day – how to make your girl feel special

I recorded a Valentine’s Day podcast with pornstar Kiara Lord. We basically dragged Valentine’s Day for an hour because we are bitter that we’re always single. But we also discussed how to create the perfect Valentine’s Day for your partner so I decided to write that down as a handy guide.

It’s easy to think of Valentine’s Day as an over-commercialised romantic sham. It can feel like another chore in your busy life and it’s true, there’s nothing romantic about being forced to do something romantic.

But if you can’t be bothered to be romantic on Valentine’s Day, when can you be?

I prefer to think of Valentine’s Day as a celebration of romance or a reminder that romance is important in a healthy relationship. It’s something that never needs to stop.

And the truth is that girls do expect something from you on Valentine’s Day. They will be disappointed if let it pass by. They will talk to their friends and at least one of them will have an amazing Valentine’s Day and they will wonder why they didn’t.

So if you want to keep your girl happy, you’d better get your ass organised and think about what to do.

Valentine’s Day cards

Before you start shopping you should think about getting a Valentine card first. This sounds basic but a lot of guys forget about it or can’t be bothered.

Whatever else you do or buy for Valentine’s Day, it will be immeasurably enhanced if you get this part right.

Buying a card is the easy part. There are lots of choices so just get something that suits your relationship. The hard part is writing in it as most guys will just write “Happy Valentine’s Day, lots of love from. . .\”

This is just not good enough. Take your time to write your real thoughts and feelings. If you’re stuck simply write what she means to you. Tell her how she makes you feel and tell her why you need her. Be open and honest. Tell her all the things you should say more often.

Even if you tell your partner how you feel all the time, writing it down is different. It’s more powerful. It’s almost like proof of the things you say.

The best gift for Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day gifts don’t have to be hard. They don’t have to be expensive and they don’t even have to be that thoughtful.

But the very best Valentine’s Day gifts, like any gift you give, will be very thoughtful. That means it requires intimate knowledge of your partner’s sentiments and desires.

It’s not something you can rush. Spend a few hours at least really thinking about what she likes, things she needs and things that move her emotionally. If you know her well you will come up with a killer gift to buy or even make for her.

And if you’re lazy and can’t think of a great gift then you’re gonna have to pay the thoughtless guy tax.

If you can’t think of a great gift for your partner the best thing to do is to simply spend more money on her. Spending a lot of money is like a sacrifice. She will see how much you spent on her and even though you didn’t put much thought into it she will feel still feel that you did.

Classic Valentine’s Day gifts

That said, it is possible to spend a lot of money on a gift she will hate so if you’re not going to put thought into it then stick to one or more of these classics.

Roses & Flowers: Even buying a single rose for Valentine’s Day will melt most girls hearts and florists have lots of options for amping this gift up. Don’t be afraid to get her favourite flowers if you know what they are. It’s really hard to get flowers wrong.

Chocolates: a box of chocolates is an amazing gift. That doesn’t mean a shitty box of chocolates you’d get from the supermarket, you should get something special, something that’s a treat she doesn’t usually experience. There are so many options online and in most cities that again, it’s really hard to get this one wrong.

Lingerie: This one is like a gift for you both. Don’t be afraid to make it a thing you buy together and if you want to get her a surprise make sure it’s her size. Open her underwear draw and check her sizes. In general, I’d say keep the lingerie you buy elegant for Valentine’s Day, buying slutty underwear doesn’t exactly scream romance. Sex toys are also a good gift for Valentine’s Day. It’s a good day for exploring new things in the bedroom. But if you buy her lingerie or sex toys you should also supplement it with a gift that’s just for her.

Perfume: This is another gift that’s hard to get wrong. Simply look at her perfume collection and if one is running low you could just buy that. Or make a note of what perfumes she has and ask a shop assistant for something similar she might like.

Jewellery: This is the ultimate gift for most girls. Jewellery is almost always special. Make sure you pay close attention to what kind of jewellery she normally wears to avoid disappointment e.g. if she only wears white gold, don’t buy yellow. Another pro tip is don’t buy earrings because they cannot be exchanged and don’t buy a ring as she might think you’re proposing!

Travel & Experiences: This is one of the best gifts you can possibly get. Think things like a surprise holiday or weekend away, couples treatments at a day spa or even just a night in a nice local hotel. It’s romantic and sexy to spend a night away. But again, because these gifts are enjoyed by both of you, make sure you also get another small gift on this list to go with it. Something just for her.

Photo Frames & Albums: These are an amazing gift because they are affordable and they look way more thoughtful than they really are. Just make sure you don’t gift them to her empty! Put some work in, select good photos, edit them or ask someone to edit them for you and get good quality prints. If you get a photo album it can double as a card and you can write a thoughtful message in it too.

Bad gifts: The worst gifts tend to fall into one of two categories. The first is what I would call weird gifts. The girl hasn’t asked for them and she doesn’t even see why you would think she would have any interest in it. It’s something she will laugh at with her friends and wonder what possibly led you to buy such a weird gift. The second group tends to be insulting. Things like buying kitchen stuff – it has sexist vibes – or buying a fat girl diet and fitness gear when she didn’t ask for it. Now if you know a girl wants something or asks for it then it’s totally different.

So what’s the perfect Valentine’s Day

The perfect Valentine’s Day starts when she wakes up or when you first see her that day. Get up early and bring her some breakfast and coffee. Make her feel special.

Give her the card, flowers or gifts right away. There’s no need to wait.

It’s nice if you have the day off or try to get out of work a little early. Take her to a day spa for a couples massage or whatever treatments you will both enjoy together.

Then go to her favourite restaurant, which you have booked in advance. And when you get home or to your hotel room, have champagne or some non-alcoholic drinks chilled and ready and drop a sexy playlist on the speakers.

You might also want to have some candles or scented candles ready at this point too. Preparing a shared candlelit bath full of rose petals and bubbles will also land you some serious boyfriend points.

And finally, it’s time to present her with the lingerie or suggest she try on the new set you bought together. Then just strap in and get ready to be spectacularly rewarded for all your effort.

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